Category: Tributes

On April 21st, I was among Donimo’s chosen family who witnessed her passage out of this world. On that day, Sarah asked us to write down our experiences so we would always remember. So I wrote it all down, not just what happened that one day, but also some of what I learned from supporting Donimo and Sarah in these last few months, and from my friendship with Donimo. Today is May 19, 2020—exactly four weeks after D’s passing— and it would have been her 55th birthday. So it seems fitting that I share a story about gifts.

Thinking of you, my beautiful friend, on your birthday today: your gracious gentlemanly ways; your handsome elegance; your endless kindness; your appreciation of natural beauty; your love of honey and fine chocolate–and the care and interest you showed all those you loved. I have felt you, in recent weeks, where there is freedom in motion–most especially in the birds and in the breeze. What a beautiful person you were and what a blessing it was to call you friend.

In 1990 during the lead-up to the Gay Games in Vancouver (marketed as “Celebration ‘90”), Donimo was interviewed by Mary Anne McEwen about the Queers in Art Artisans Market that she co-organized, or, more specifically, how the board of the Games censored the Market by not allowing them to use the word “queer” in their name. Starting at 11:48 in the video, Donimo pulls no punches about language and exclusion…

A few photos of Donimo with Sarah and their nephew Zev

I feel very blessed to have known Donimo. I haven’t met very many people like her during my life, nor do I expect to; she was rare and special. A memory I have that captures the essence of Domino’s personality was when my car broke down on the way to Rockport. Donimo, Sarah, and I […]

In 2009, Donimo and I were still getting to know each other. So far my experience of her was that she seemed direct, thoughtful and gentle— what a nice, sweet person! Then I went to her birthday party and learned of the evil that is Knuckles Donimo. Knuckles is a game that you will never […]

Sarah, I went out with Roxy to Ruth Lake on April 21st to be close to you and Donimo. As I set up my spot, the light was just so on the lake, and I was reminded of  a few summers ago, when Quille and I were on our way over to you for a […]

I met Donimo over 20 years ago, when Sarah and D first started dating. I remember Sarah’s incredible excitement and attraction for this new woman in her life. I’m pretty sure that this has never waned, but has only deepened. Over the years as I spent time with them  together  – and through both good and […]

I have learned much about grief in the last few years. I know that it can sometimes be an endless tide, but that it also brings with it treasures of the deep blue sea. I wish I’d stopped and taken time over the last few years to have that cup of tea with you both. […]